"Wait. What? This guy is your corporate spokesman?"
Many of our customers are surprised to find this man, Roy Harper, as the choice spokesman for a company as professional and structured as Epic Digital Media. But really, all it takes to understand is some investigation into Roy's background.
Not much is known about Roy's childhood. Son of Michael and Kathleen Harper, and raised in a small suburb in Illinois, it is rumored that Roy graduated college not by choice but at the institution's insistence. Roy had a habit of belligerently shouting and taking control of a classroom the moment that he suspected the teacher to be incorrect on any fact. Known by the age of 20 as the "Ghengis Khan of Speech and Debate," Roy superceeded many teachers and became Dean before receiving a degree.
Roy Harper has championed countless businesses in nearly every part of the world. Well versed in over 42 languages, Roy is the modern renaiisance man-- hands on in nearly every business. Roy has been known to be as "aggressive as a tiger, but with a heart as soft as a lemur."
Roy's Rascals, a non-profit organization founded in the man's honor supports literally countless children in need of a strong father figure. Roy hasn't disclosed where these children are from, or who they are, due to what he calls "professional courtesy." But it's rumored they reside on an island owned by Roy, setup to be a self-sufficient habitat crafted to bring underpriveleged children up from ages 1 until 60.
Roy's most legendary feat is perhaps his most tragic. During a 10 year sabbatical between setting up the world's most reknowned Wildlife Preserve and reinventing Quantum Physics, Roy Harper undertook a pet project in a small hut in the Himalayas. He helped invent the internet, but lost the rights to his invention during a secret spy operation involving MI6. The world has Roy Harper to thank for countless years lost by nerds using his invention.
Roy Harper. One of God's own prototypes. A kind of high powered mutant never considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
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"People often ask me: 'Roy? You do so much. How do you unwind?' I'll tell you man. It's quite ceremonial. I run into the farthest forest nearby, and I try to find the largest bear I can. And I fight it."
" I don't pretend to know where mankind came from. But I'm pretty sure it has something to do with lava."
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"I'm a stern believer in man's civil rights. Especially for domesticated animals."
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"Look, I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you. I'm not perfect. When I think of the world's many problems, sometimes I think my passion may be the worst epidemic of them all. There's a fire in my belly, and I've ran from one corner of the Earth to the next to find a sweetheart to put it out. And only one babe has been able to quench it. And my mistress has a name. It's named 'Your Success.'"
- a bonified pitch to a potential client 
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"What business am I creating next? Well it all depends on what the world needs. Other than a hero. I gave them that two decades ago, and I got voted out in the primaries. The world wasn't ready for my platform."
